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Jesus Forgot to Bring the Pork Chops

Category: Books
Wed, 06 Jul 2005, 09:47

With a provocative title like When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, you might expect George Carlin to be more down on religion in his latest book. He does have some choice words about religion, but overall, religion has a minor place in the book. Most of his rants discuss our fascination with and overuse of euphemisms. Other rants seem purposely provocative. And many comments are bluntly insightful.

This is not really the kind of book to read from start to finish. The best way to read it is to flip through the book reading random pages when you have a spare minute or two. The best bits are the short bits and pieces. Try to imagine Carlin doing a stand-up routine when reading bits like "I was reading a fitness magazine that had an article about cross-training, and I realized this would have been a good idea for Jesus."

Regarding euphemisms, one great bit called "God Help Us" discusses the term faith-based. He argues convincingly that the term is used, mainly by Bush Republicans, since it's more acceptable to the general public than the term religious. He has these choice words on the subject: "The term faith-based is nothing more than an attempt to slip religion past you when you're not thinking; which is the way religion is always slipped past you."

In case you might think Carlin is picking sides, conservatives (political or religious) aren't the only targets in this book. The left doesn't survive his barbs unscathed either. For example, liberals use the terms investing or funding, whereas others would call it spending money. Conservatives say gun control while liberals call it gun safety.

In another more serious section, he discusses the issue of land mines, pointing out that mines cost three dollars to make and install, but cost a hundred dollars to remove. He wonders how many Cambodians who lost one leg already lose the other by stepping on a second land mine.

Finally, here's Carlin's take on America's lost innocence. No commentary is necessary on this:

"I keep hearing that America lost its innocence on 9/11. I thought that happened when JFK was shot. Or was it Vietnam? Pearl Harbor? How many times can America lose its innocence? Maybe we keep finding it again. Doubtful. Because, actually, if you look at the record, you'll find that America has had very little innocence from the beginning."

Because of the authors reputation as a stand-up comic, you might expect more humor in this book. The dust covers whimsical take-off of Leonardo's "Last Supper" certainly suggests more comedy. Sure, there are some lighter moments in this book. But most of it is a dark, no-nonsense observation of the world as it really is, railing against the ways most people want the world to be.

Hans

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