The Omnifarium - Ukulele

The Anti-Ukulele

Category: Ukulele
Thu, 06 Aug 2009, 13:43

Sometimes while walking through downtown to the GO station after work, I hear the dissonant tones of bagpipes amidst all the other noises of the city. Once while hearing the plaintiff drones with nary a bagpipe player in sight, I got to wondering: Is there any musical instrument more unlike the ukulele than the bagpipes?

(Just to be clear on the matter, when referring to the bagpipes, I'm referring to the Great Highland Bagpipe, rather than any of several dozen other types of sacked aerophone.)

Just compare the bagpipes with the ukulele: The latter is quiet and unassuming, while the former is loud and brash. Is it any wonder that bagpipe players have to resort to busy downtown street corners to practice?

The bagpipes produce sound from four pipes, only one of which can produce something approximating a melody. And while the ukulele doesn't have the greatest range of playable notes, it's at least not as bad as the nine note range of the bagpipes. To make matters worse, those nine notes are in the Mixolydian scale! In contrast, ukulele players can choose from whatever key they want, and can produce pleasing, consonant chords on their four strings.

The comparison doesn't end with the respective qualities of the instruments. Look at the places commonly associated with the bagpipes and ukulele: Scotland and Hawaii. Unlike Scotland, Hawaii is a lush, warm tropical paradise. Surely, the landscape associated with these places has an influence.

Or consider the social element. In many places, ukulele aficionados get together to share music. In Toronto, for example, the Corktown Ukulele Jam meets every Wednesday in an east-end bar. Can you possibly imagine the sound if 50 bagpipe players cranked up their dudelsacks in such a venue? No, that's what football stadiums are for!

If I haven't yet convinced you of the superiority of the ukulele over the bagpipes, consider the reportoire suitable for the two instruments. Unlike the bagpipes, you can play practically anything on the uke. Sure, the song "Amazing Grace" can sound awesome on the bagpipes. No argument there. But at last night's Corktown Jam, one ukerist played a medley combining "Amazing Grace" and "Movin' On Up". Sacrilege? Heck, no. Unlike the bagpipes, the ukulele allows you to be as serious or as playful as you want.

To conclude today's missive, for most of us, the ukulele is all about having fun. It's an easy instrument to play, sounds great, and is readily adaptable to many musical forms. If you haven't tried it, I urge you to give it a chance. Especially if you're one of those bagpipe players who force their highland drones on us during our afternoon commute!

Omnifariously yours, Hans

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